The hands that rocked the cradle did not get the cradle to rock in. Do you ever feel like fourteen heads are inside you? Do you know how it feels like? Everything seems so normal at times and at times it's like you don't even know yourself. You suddenly feel empty, void and a vacuum space inside you. Your world is full of happiness and merriment a few minutes back, now you feel that there is only boredom in your life. In making sense of your life you, yourself become nonsensical. You talk so much and suddenly with a pause you stop like you never liked talking.
You are a console, a healer but, at times you feel your wounds can never be healed. You are a happy go lucky person, people love to be around, whom everybody loves and adore, but, do you feel the same? You are an epitome of love, sacrifice, and empathy and often you get to see your witchy side. I mean what is this? Isn't it sound absurd? By the way, I think our whole life is absurd and mere probabilities of numbers. We never reach an end. We always strive for something new. And that something new never quenches our thirst.
The moment I feel like I have understood the meaning of life, it laughs at me and changes its meaning. Again I have to understand the new vocabulary of life. It keeps of proving how vulnerable I am, how insignificant I am. How small I am. Everyone will love you at your best but nobody can beat you at your worst. It is the hardcore fact. I have this dizzy feeling and I have no idea why I have these feelings? Am I getting mad? Life is actually in ashes. The ashes turn everyone, Gray. It does not matter whether you are black, white or brown. When you would be cremated you would be gray.
Sorry, I was talking about multiple personality disorder.it feels like you ask a question to yourself and a war begins inside you. Yes, head over heads keeps on suggesting, advising, fighting. I cry aloud- stop everyone. At a point, I am so overambitious, want to achieve everything and the very next moment I am without any goal in my life. You fell in love with someone head over heels, and the very next moment you are not ready to love yourself. These feelings are very confusing and frustrating. It can make you sick, but it has already made me one. I have been declared as mad: mentally ill. It's a fatal disease.
People would only love you when you are at your best, nobody wants to witness the darkness of the same illuminating moon when it's dark. People interpret light, who sees something out in the darkness. So, I am the darkness.
